I’m having a reaction to you.
my body is reacting -
it is breaking down and rebuilding
something needs to come out
and though you tire me entirely
I will never get tired of you
still, I must retire you -
from my system
because -
this thing inside me is foul
it's clung to my passageways
it's nesting in my cavities -
I am hazy
this thing leaves an infectious trail
contaminates any chance of relief
manifests mockery, as it tickles my throat and
triggers violent bursts of involuntary exposure -
I can hear it laughing
it starts with a puddle that forms
at the crease of my mouth
until the flood comes,
now again I begin to seize
behold -
the tiny fault of a wise man
gives way to a fool’s revolution
because -
sometimes
I don't want to wash you off
still, I must rid you - of me
free from my mind
free from your polluted judgements
and I wonder
which is better?
to forfeit love
and feel nothing at all,
or to bear the plague of heartache
over and over and over again
